How to forgive & forgiven

The closer you are to someone, the more likely you are to step on their toes. And being married to someone certainly puts you in close quarters.So the chances are good that you and your spouse

have sore feet.

Okay, enough of the smelly metaphor. The point is that it's NORMAL for you and your spouse to errand for those "misses" to cause hurt...sometimes

serious hurt.

Did your spouse hurt you? Have you made mistakes

that hurt your spouse?

Except in the case of physical abuse, you can"move on" from anything. In fact, your marriage

can end up even BETTER!

I know...you're probably thinking, "Better? 

How 

could it be better than before we screwed up?"

It CAN be better, but you have to do one thing

first. You have to forgive.

What does it REALLY mean to forgive?

Many people will say, "I forgive you," but continue to harbor anger in their heart. Some people say the words, but it's obvious from their

actions that nothing's changed.

Other people will say "I forgive you" but what they really mean is, "I don't want to talk about this. I can't deal with this. I'm turning you off." And so the 3 magic words come out and form a wall that shuts out their spouse. True, they're not angry, but that's because they've shut down

all emotion and refuse to reconnect.

Saying "I forgive you" is an entirely different 

ball game than truly forgiving.

Look carefully at the word "forgive." It tells you what it means. "For-Give"...in other words, to

GIVE as you did beFORE.

That's true forgiveness. When you GIVE of yourself like you did beFORE you were hurt, then you know you've forgiven. When you stand as close to your spouse as you stood the day your feet got

stepped on...that's forgiveness.

That's not easy to do. But it is possible. You

can forgive each other and move on.

 

Dr.Anil Gangotia