When it comes to your emotions, there's a big
difference between being in pain and true
suffering. What's the difference? And how does this
relate to your marriage?
Let me illustrate with a story.
There once was a man who was sentenced to 25
years of backbreaking labor. His wrists were tied
to the handle of a huge wheel that was inlaid in
the wall. His job was to turn the wheel 10 hours
a day.
For years, day in and day out, the prisoner would
wonder what he was doing with this wheel. What
was the meaning of his work? What was on the
other side of this wall? Was he grinding grain?
Pulling up water? Moving some sort of conveyor
belt?
For 25 years he contemplated the meaning of his
work, and for 25 years he spun that wheel. It was
grueling, but he survived.
When his sentence was complete he was released
from prison. The first thing he did was run to
the other side of the wall to see what he had
been doing all this time.
What did he see?
Nothing!
There was nothing attached to the wheel. For 25
years, 10 hours a day, he was spinning a wheel
for absolutely no purpose. When the man realized
his true sentence, he collapsed and died.
The prisoner was able to survive 25 years of
backbreaking labor, but when he realized that it
was all for nothing, he couldn't survive for
another moment.
So what's the difference between pain and
suffering?
Pain has a purpose.
Suffering is true torture because it has no
meaning.
Pain is bearable. Suffering for no reason is
devastating.
Ask any woman about child labor. How was it?
Would you do it again? Most women will answer: It
was painful, but I didn't suffer. I would do it
again.
This is the key to surviving marital problems and
making it through to a new love and peace with
your spouse.
If you think there's no purpose to your emotional
hurt, you'll just want out. You'll run from your
kids, your responsibility, your vows...you'll run
from it all just to get relief from an unbearable
suffering.
But if you can come to understand why you're in
this situation, then you'll succeed to make it
through like a woman in child labor.
Why is this happening to you? What are you
supposed to be learning from all of this? Can you
see how your marital problems are really an
opportunity for you and your spouse?
I remember A true Story of my friend
when they were going through
what seemed to be unbearable emotional pain as a
result of the loss of their 3 children and their
marriage problems. But now they see it all
differently. Yes, they were in pain, but they didn't
suffer. And although they might script things
differently if they were God, his wife and he now feel
a sense of peace and happiness that they wouldn't
trade for anything. Yes, they lost a lot, but they
gained each other and forged a marriage that has
become a wellspring of joy in their life.
all the best.....