Happiness & Marriage

if you could just be happy, right? 

But how do you get there? 

The path from a 

troubled marriage to personal happiness is not so

simple, is it?

I was doing a phone session just the other day 

when Jack said to me, "I've got to get out of 

this marriage. I've got to find happiness for 

ME."

In fact, it's quite common for people in an 

unhappy marriage to think that happiness is just 

on the other side of divorce. It's ironic. When 

we're single, we'll be happy when we meet 

someone. Once we're married, we think we'll be 

happy when we're single.

But you know deep down 

, that you 

can't be happy alone.  

Your life is meant to be 

part of another life.

If you focus on YOUR happiness; happiness will 

elude you. But if you focus on your marriage,

you'll find happiness for YOURSELF. In other 

words, being happy is NOT the result of YOU 

trying to be happy. It's the CONSEQUENCE of you 

creating a successful marriage with your spouse.

Pursuing happiness is like a boomerang; 

if it 

comes back to YOU, then you've missed the target.

It's like good sex. Research shows that the more 

you focus on having good sex, the more good sex 

eludes you. The key to good sex is good physical 

conditioning and a deep EMOTIONAL connection. In 

other words, good sex is not something you

pursue; it's something that ensues.

It's the same with your happiness .

It's not something you pursue; it's something

that ensues from efforts that transcend yourself.

The hardest time to focus on your marriage is  

when you're frustrated with your spouse. I know 

that. I know you'd rather turn inward. But if you 

do, you'll narrow your existence. You'll close 

yourself in. You'll shield your pain (to some 

extent), but you'll also turn your back on your

only hope.

You've got to turn and face the darkness in your 

life, 

And I don't mean face it for 

a couple of weeks and then give up because "it 

didn't work." The key to most marital 

circumstances is ENDURANCE. If took you years to 

get yourself into this mess, it's going to take 

more than a couple of weeks to get yourself out

of it.

 

Dr.Anil Gangotia